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I took a well-needed break from blogging, typing, gardening, and puppy sitting to watch some tv last night. I started watching Jeff Foxworthy’s You Might Be A Redneck stand up routine and it dawned on me that I needed to write a “you might be a homesteader if” post.
Us homesteaders are a different breed of people. We see life a lot differently than most. I think we have an appreciation for things that the average person just doesn’t understand. You might say we have an excellent sense of humor even if it is off sometimes.
Some people just don’t get us ya know. After all, what kind of woman likes walking barefoot in a chicken pen, with nail polish 95% rubbed off because she hasn’t painted her toes in weeks right? This girl! What kind of woman gets excited about farm machines and tools? This girl!
With that said….
You Might Be A Homesteader if…
- Your best friends have a snout, only 3 toes, or a tail.
- You are surrounded by poop daily, whether you’re getting pooped on or walking in it.
- Before eating your chicken dinner you must remove the rest of the feathers.
- You are a woman that asks for power tools for Christmas.
- Your ideal vehicle is anything you can hook a plow or a trailer too.
- Your hubby goes fishing and hunting and you wanna go too.
- You own more than one gun and it ain’t pink.
- Your idea of a manicure is using a toothpick to get the dirt out of your nails.
- Your toenails get painted religiously, twice a year.
- You get 2 new turkeys and name them Thanksgiving and Christmas.
- You’ll rescue ANY animal that ventures on your land.
- You spend more money on feed than food.
- Your biggest social outing is with 30 ladies that have feathers and lay eggs.
- You own way more jeans and boots than heels and flats.
- You save that sock with no mate after all it could be a duster!
- Leftovers are eaten by the pig, not the garbage disposal.
- When other women are at Kohl’s you’re at the farmers market
You might also be a homesteader if…
- The smell of a bonfire, a smoker, or cow manure is familiar and comforting.
- Dirt roads and big porches mean your home.
- The only things in a can that you own are things you canned yourself.
- You prep and store enough food to feed the entire town in an emergency.
- You have an emergency kit in your car, your home, your shed, your barn…
- You’re aware that a rooster never crows when he is supposed too and definitely crows at night, all night.
- You can identify every herb and vegetable because you grow them all at home.
- You know that carpeting doesn’t stop the mud and sand that will inevitably end up all through the house, therefore you have tile.
- Muddy boots in the house is not a pet peeve it is the norm.
- At 2 am when your friends are leaving the bar you have already been asleep for 5 hours.
- By the time you turn on a tv you are too tired to watch it.
- Flies are a frequent house guest.
- You seem to have the answer to every question the rest of your family could ever ask.
- You enjoy rainy days because it means you can get stuff done inside the house for the first time all month.
- Your heart is way bigger than your checkbook.
- Budgeting is a priority along with frugality.
- You buy spices in bulk or make them yourself.
And finally…You might be a homesteader if you enjoy being outside, no drama, warm blankets, hot fires, beautiful sunsets and walks around the lake.
Are you a homesteader? If you’re serious about homesteading you can start by reading this post to learn some valuable homesteading skills. You can also read about the expectations most people have about homesteading. In the meantime, Happy Homesteading!